It's Not Over When You Think It's Over!

Years ago I was in the middle of horrible frustration, pain, guilt, shame and agony with the place that I had come to in my life. My behavior and decisions had led me to this place.  I felt that there was no way I could be rid of the past and actually have a future. 

I was learning that God loved me, and was beginning to accept that fact.  I could not see, however, that there could be any kind of future for me because of all the damage that had been done as a result of my idiotic and insane episodes of self indulgent chaos.

Friends were gone, family gone, reputation gone!  Even my low self esteem and lack of self worth were shattered.  I felt I had no worth at all left!

But still, somewhere deep inside me, was a whisper of God’s love for me.  For me!  How could that be?  In the face of utter destruction and despair there was a small voice, quiet but clear.  “I love you, and it’s not over…it is only beginning!”

Very hard to grasp.  Very hard to believe.  Everything I had been taught and learned was about doing the right thing to earn your reward.  God will bless you if you do right!  If you do wrong…well isn’t that evident!  I was reaping my rewards.  Punishment.

But I heard the voice. 

Swelling inside me slowly was the notion that maybe I didn’t know what I thought I knew about God and who he is and how he works and what he does.  Could he at least give me a hope for a future?  Could things ever change?

Just thinking that God had not thrown me away was such a new thought.  Imagine grace and mercy being part of his love and who he is instead of something you can earn!

As I struggled with changing perspectives about God, and then of course about my crummy old controlling self, I saw something else that would change my ideas again.

In Genesis chapter 1 verse 5 in the second half of the verse it says “and there was evening, and there was morning-the first day.” 

Evening and morning…what?  But then it dawned on me.  God’s perspective is different, and he is the creator.  I guess he should know.

Our days go from morning till night! God’s day begins in the evening and continues through the morning. The Jewish day begins at 6:00 in the evening..   

Our endings are God’s beginnings!  When I think it is over, it has just begun!